Marriages are complex, and many couples go through challenging times. But in some cases, there are enough problems that mean divorce could be imminent. If this happens to you, you are not alone; the CDC states that the national average divorce rate is 2.5 people per 1,000 as of 2021. If you think your marriage is breaking up, contact our Crystal Lake divorce lawyers at Bruning & Associates for legal assistance.
Fighting Stops, But Issues Are Unresolved
Many people assume that a couple arguing is always a sign of divorce. Of course, it can be, but it is just as big of a problem when arguments cease, but the issues are unresolved. This may mean communication has stopped, and one or both partners may feel that communicating on these issues is pointless.
Not communicating with your spouse about your needs does not resolve anything. Instead, it means one or both of you is shutting down, and progress cannot be made. When spouses no longer communicate effectively about important relationship issues, it is another sign divorce may be coming.
On Different Pages About The Future
When two people meet, one partner may have an idea about the future that they do not communicate with the other. If you and your partner do not share similar future goals, this is a sign there could be trouble ahead. For example, marital problems are widespread when one person wants to enjoy a particular lifestyle or career and the other does not.
While there are many parts of a marriage where compromise is possible, this is not always true. Compromising is impossible if you want children but your partner does not. If staying with your spouse means giving up something extremely important to you, divorce could be on the horizon.
No Sexual Intimacy
A lack of intimacy in a marriage is a sign that divorce could be coming. While all couples experience dry spells, a total lack of sexual intimacy may be a sign that divorce is coming. Worse, couples who do not engage in intimacy and do not talk about or do anything about it are more likely to split. Without intimacy, married couples can become more like roommates or business partners, which is not why most people get married.
One Spouse Will Not Attend Counseling
Marriage counseling can be effective for couples before and after they have problems. However, if one person will not attend marital counseling, it is a sign they do not want to try to save the marriage. In addition, it can be challenging to stay married when only one partner attends counseling because making progress on key issues is difficult.
Lack Of Respect
If partners do not respect one another, it leads to resentment. There are many ways that a couple can show disrespect to each other. Some of these are abusive behaviors such as being controlling, demeaning, manipulating, and gaslighting. Also, if you disparage each other’s character or engage in name-calling, this lays the groundwork for getting divorced.
Spending Less Time Together
You and your spouse do not need to be together all the time like you were early in the relationship. But you should want to spend time with your spouse when you have time. You also should enjoy being with your partner more than other people most of the time.
While it is ok to watch shows on Netflix, work late, read books, and do other things without your spouse, they can distract you from your partner. People who feel dissatisfied in their marriage may make more time to do things alone or with others.
Always Being Critical
Constructive criticism can be helpful, but it is only effective if a balance exists. This is a bad sign if you are criticizing each other far more than offering positive feedback. Research suggests you should have five positive statements to your partner for every negative one to keep the marriage healthy. Constant criticism only increases resentment and a feeling of hopelessness about the marriage.
Infidelity
When one partner strays and has an affair, it is possible to save the marriage. But if one partner regularly has affairs, it is often a problem that cannot be fixed, and divorce is likely.
The only way to recover from the betrayal of infidelity is for trust to be re-earned and for the issue never to happen again. But with some spouses, it is a pattern of behavior, and frequent infidelity means the trust will never return. If this has happened to you, it is essential to remember not to blame yourself. Spouses who serially cheat are not fully committed to being married, and divorce is the likely outcome.
Pornography
It is estimated that about 50% of marriages end in divorce when one person is excessively interested in pornography. While many people look at porn online occasionally, it becomes a problem if it is a priority over having intimacy with your partner. In addition, most people do not like being in second place behind the computer or cell phone, which can lead to marital problems.
If There Are More Than 2 or 3 Signs…
If you have more than two or three signs above, imagining living the rest of your life with your spouse may be challenging. The first step is to talk to your partner about your differences and attend couples therapy. But if nothing else works, you may need to talk to our divorce attorney in Crystal Lake to help you with what is next.
Contact Our Crystal Lake Divorce Lawyers
No one gets married with the idea that they will divorce one day. However, if you think you need to get divorced, it helps to have an excellent attorney fighting for your rights. The divorce lawyers at Bruning & Associates can assist you with all matters involved in a divorce in Illinois, including alimony, child custody, child support, and property division. Our attorneys also represent divorce clients in Crystal Lake, Schaumburg, Chicago, Warrenville, Naperville, Lake Forest, and Saint Charles offices. Please contact our Crystal Lake divorce lawyers at (815) 415-3000 for legal assistance.
